


they said speak now.

by rapunzels



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M, finale AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 18:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30009015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapunzels/pseuds/rapunzels
Summary: a rewrite of the dawson's creek finale, focused on jacey. pacey is the one getting married, and joey has to deal with it. no jen death, no dawson hehe
Relationships: Joey Potter/Pacey Witter
Comments: 15
Kudos: 38





	they said speak now.

**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to my love emily, who asked for this au!!! sorry this is way more than what you wanted!! i have a problem!!
> 
> i know it's a little rushed towards the end but i don't careeee this is 20 pages when it was supposed to be like 5 i wanted to be free

_I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, but you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl…_

* * *

Getting a wedding invitation from any of your childhood friends is weird, but getting one from your ex-boyfriend is… kind of incomparable. Joey opens the card and tries not to wince.

 _You’re invited to the wedding of Pacey and Kristy on May_ \---

Joey closes the card.

* * *

“I mean, I shouldn’t go, right?” Joey says into the phone.

“Oh, come on, Jo,” Jen pleads from the other side of the line. “We all miss you! It’d be nice to see you again. Plus, you and Pacey haven’t dated in years, right? Hasn’t it been a while?”

“Five years,” she instantly answers, though she still doesn’t know whether or not to call their brief attempt at dating again in college an actual relationship. The fact that she left Pacey to be with Eddie again, who just ended up leaving her after a month, is something that Joey regrets to this day. Maybe if she hadn’t let Pacey walk away at that dance, things would be much different now. Maybe this wedding would be theirs.

Joey quickly shakes her head, not wanting to get caught up in the past. She clears her throat, refocusing on her conversation. “I just always thought that inviting an ex to your wedding is taboo. Wouldn’t it be weird for me to look his fiancée in the eye knowing that he and I were in love once?”

She hears Jen scoff on the phone. “What, so you wouldn’t invite Pacey to _your_ wedding?”

“That’s different,” Joey replies, but she knows it’s really not. Knowing her, she’d linger on it for weeks before finally sending the invitation out of anguish and pity. Pacey was and always would be one of the most important people in her life, but it was all so… complicated between them, thanks to their fragile history. She sighs. “Alright, I get your point.”

“So you’re coming?” Jen urges her, and Joey can picture her friend’s smile perfectly.

With a slight roll of her eyes, Joey finally says, “Yeah, I’ll go. Fine.”

She books her flight to Capeside that afternoon, though her finger hovers over the mouse for a long minute before she finally does it. Then she has to do what she’s been fearing --- check _Attending_ on the invite. Then there was that damn plus one option…

It’s embarrassing how long Joey spent on that question. Would bringing someone be appropriate? She _was_ dating someone right now after all, but she’s not sure she wanted him to be involved in any of this. But would not bringing someone make her seem pathetic? Why were there so many unspoken rules about going to an ex’s wedding? With a frustrated groan, Joey finally just leaves the plus one unchecked and then leaves the card by her front door so she can send it out the next morning and be done with it all.

* * *

Thankfully, her boyfriend didn’t want to go with her anyways. He apparently had a lot of big meetings coming up, and he couldn’t make it. Truthfully, Joey was relieved. If she were being honest, he wasn’t exactly the love of her life, and she didn’t want to go through the trouble of introducing him to everyone back home.

The wedding date comes sooner than she expected, and before she knows it, Joey is on a plane to Capeside with stereotypical wedding gifts packed into her suitcase. She’s antsy the whole flight there, probably annoying the poor stranger that was cursed with a seat next to hers.

She goes straight to the Potter B&B, overwhelmed at just how much she actually missed home. Bodie and Bessie are welcoming and full of smiles and tight hugs, and Alexander has grown so much Joey groans when she tries to pick him up. She puts her stuff away in her old room, and the nostalgia hits instantly. Life was so different now than it was back then.

After putting her things away and taking a shower, Joey changes into some fresh clothes to get ready to see her friends at the Ice House. Because, yes, Pacey Witter had renovated and was now running the Ice House. When Joey first heard about it, she thought it was a joke, but in six months time he had the place up and running. She hadn’t seen it in person yet, and she was strangely excited.

She wasn’t sure what it would be like to actually see _Pacey_ in person again, but she was trying not to think too much about it. If she did, she knew it would end up with her getting too scared to go, and she didn’t want to disappoint everyone like that. She’d made it this far. She was doing this.

So _maybe_ she put a little more makeup on than usual, and _maybe_ she was wearing a tight red shirt even though she knew that was Pacey’s favorite color on her. None of it was on purpose, she tells herself. It just happened.

* * *

Pacey had done everything to make sure the place was spotless tonight. He’d made their table off to the side so they wouldn’t be interrupted, and prepared everyone’s favorite food. He couldn’t believe pretty much all of his childhood friends were really here for his wedding --- but he was especially antsy to see a certain someone in particular.

As fate would have it, Pacey looks outside at the entrance and sees her. _Joey Potter._ Walking around the streets of Capeside as if she never left. It had been five years since he’d seen her last but she looked the same as always, perhaps even prettier than he remembered, especially since she was wearing his favorite color on her. It was like time slowed down whenever he saw her, and he’s unable to keep himself from smiling at the sight of her.

She hadn’t seen him yet, so he takes the opportunity to scare his favorite skittish kitten. “Joey Potter, as I live and breathe!” Pacey says as he picks her up into a tight hug and spins her around.

Her laughter is music to his ears, and she squeezes him back before pulling away. “Hello there, Chef Witter,” she teases with one of her big adorable grins. “Look at this place! I can’t believe you did this!” Joey exclaims, bright eyes taking in the restaurant.

Pacey shrugs easily. “Eh, I got bored one day and decided to give this a try,” he jokes. His arms are still gripping her shoulders and he uses it to pull her in again. “C’mere, I need another one. God! It’s so good to see you!”

“You too, Pace,” Joey says as they pull away again, and his hands instantly find hers. She wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome, but she honestly shouldn’t have expected anything less. Pacey always had the biggest heart she’s ever seen, and even if she thought she didn’t deserve it, he’d never stop showing her kindness.

The two of them were so caught up in their little happy bubble that they barely notice Jen and Jack approaching them.

“Hi kiddos,” Jen teases with a smirk, snapping them out of it.

Pacey turns around and instantly lifts the blonde up into a hug. “Hey, pretty lady!”

“Jack!” Joey squeals, running into the arms of her old friend.

“How’ve you been, Jo?” Jack asks, beaming at the sight of her.

“Better now that you guys are here, honestly,” she admits before turning to Jen. “And as always I have you to thank.”

Jen smiles, hugging Joey tight. “I told you coming was a good idea. Hey, babe.”

“God, I can’t believe we’re all together again. It’s been way too long,” Pacey says as he leads them to their table.

“You’re right. Someone else needs to get married, and soon, so we can do this again,” Jen jokes, taking a seat. Joey can swear she sees Jen wink at her as she purposefully takes a seat beside Jack, forcing Joey to sit next to Pacey. “It’ll probably be Jack,” Jen adds with a smirk.

“Haha, very funny,” Jack replies, already grabbing a beer.

The four of them spend hours catching up and laughing at old memories, and Joey hasn’t felt genuine joy like this in years. There really is no place like home, she thinks.

“Hey, Pace, remember when we tried being friends with benefits?” Jen asks after hours of chatter, clearly drunk. “And then Joey got all jealous because she was in love with you and didn’t even know it.”

“Jen!” Joey instantly gasps.

“What?” the blonde asks with a drunken giggle. “It’s true! You two were so adorable, thinking we couldn’t see through all the jealousy and bickering.”

Joey and Pacey instantly look at each other, both chuckling through the embarrassment. Joey hopes her blush is simply seen as intoxication.

“Alright, this is probably our cue to get Jen to bed,” Jack announces, getting up from his chair and helping Jen come up from her seat. He swings her over his shoulder, and Jen yelps through her laughter. Joey feels so much like a teenager again it makes her heart grow three sizes.

“Wait, wait!” Jen pleads, and Jack halts. “I love you guys. You’re the best friends I’ve ever had,” Jen gushes adorably. “Okay! Goodnight!”

“Love you too, Jen,” Joey says as she waves her goodbye. Jack salutes jokingly with his free hand and then takes Jen outside to wait for a cab, with Pacey grinning like an idiot at the sight.

And then Joey Potter is alone with Pacey Witter. And she wasn’t drunk enough to pretend like it wasn’t making her anxious.

“I think I need to close the place down,” Pacey says, breaking their silence. “You wanna help me out?”

Joey narrows her eyes slightly. He could very easily have asked her to leave then, but instead he asked her to stick around. “Sure,” she answers without thinking too hard about it.

She helps him gather their dishes and waits in his kitchen while he locks up and sends the last of the servers home. She snacks on leftover carrot sticks until Pacey comes back, instantly smiling at the sight of her.

“I’m glad you like those,” he teases.

Joey takes another bite, nodding. “You got yourself quite the establishment.”

“You like it?”

“Of course I do. I still can’t believe you did all this.”

Pacey shrugs like it was nothing. “I still don’t think it’s enough.”

Joey lifts herself up to sit on the counter beside his sink. “What do you mean? This is more than I ever…” she trails off, gathering her words. “I never thought I’d see the Ice House again. I owe you, Pacey.”

He shakes his head. “I wasn’t exactly talking about this,” Pacey admits. “I just meant in general. I thought I would be satisfied once I figured out what I wanted to do with my life, but…”

“You don’t wanna be a chef?” Joey interrogates. “Because your food is amazing, so if you’re doubting that —”

“No, not that either.” Pacey sighs, frustrated. “It’s hard to explain. I just never feel fulfilled when I think I should.”

Joey nods understandingly. “Well, that's adulthood for you.”

Pacey laughs despite himself. “Thanks, Jo. So comforting.”

“I’m trying!” she defends, chuckling. “I’m not exactly fulfilled myself, so I’m not sure what I can offer you here, Pace.”

“It’s fine,” he says with a smile. “Having you here is good enough.” He sighs, getting honest. “There’s just something about you. Whenever you’re around, whenever I see you again, it’s like you make everything make sense. You make pieces click into place.”

 _Uh oh._ The way he’s looking at her is familiar, and it makes Joey feel things she should not be feeling. Not for a man that was getting married.

He looked really good. She wasn’t gonna deny that. He hadn’t grown that cursed goatee out again, thank god, and he was fresh cut, probably for his big day coming up. But something about the way he instantly wrapped her in his arms when he saw her, and the way he was looking at her right now… She could have sworn he’d glanced down at her lips.

She couldn’t do this.

So in a moment of panic, she takes a carrot stick and throws it at him.

“Wha —- ?” Pacey furrows his brows, watching the carrot fall onto the ground. “In _my_ kitchen?” he teases, corners of his mouth sliding upwards.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Joey threatens, throwing a few more at him and giggling like a child.

“Jo —” He sternly holds out a finger, and Joey simply throws another carrot. “Okay, that’s it.” He throws a few discarded pieces of food her way, and Joey hops out of her seat with a gasp so she can dodge them properly.

They throw food at each other through fits of giggles, until Pacey manages to corner her by pinning her against a counter. She gets ready to throw one last carrot, but Pacey raises his eyebrow sternly.

“I want you to think very carefully about what you’re gonna do next,” he warns.

Joey takes a second, then takes a bite of it, chewing loudly to piss him off.

Pacey shakes his head, chuckling. Has it always been this easy between them? “Here we are again,” he whispers, face way too close to hers to be deemed just friendly contact. But he couldn’t help it. “What is it between us?”

Joey’s heart is beating so loud she’s sure Pacey can hear it. “I don’t know,” she answers honestly, not being able to take her eyes off of him.

Pacey’s letting himself get carried away. He knows this. He just wishes he knew how to stop it. “Do you ever…” He shouldn’t ask this, because he shouldn’t care. He was getting married in two days. But something in him urged him to let it out. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you and I… God forbid, had ended up together?”

Joey wasn’t expecting this. She swallows hard, eyes still glued on his. “Maybe here and there,” she attempts to joke.

“And?” Pacey urges her on. He was so close, Joey could feel his breath on her skin.

“I don’t know, Pace. When we were good, we were great. But…”

“See, that’s where you and I always differed, I think,” he cuts her off. “For me there was never a _but_.”

Joey sighs. “You know what I mean, Pacey. And it doesn’t matter now anyways, because you’re getting married.” She gently pushes him away so she can have some space, because she’s not sure how much longer she can stand being so close to him.

“Right.” Pacey runs a hand through his face. “Guess that’s how it was always supposed to be.”

“What are you trying to say, Pacey?” Joey finally snaps. “Are you trying to make me feel bad about walking away from us? Because trust me, I don’t need _you_ to do that.”

Pacey blinks, shocked at her sudden shift of mood. “What? No, I’m just —-”

“Just what? Just reminiscing on what could have been if I hadn’t been so scared? If I hadn’t ruined everything? Is that it?”

“Joey, I wasn’t trying to guilt you, I was just…” He sighs, frustrated. “I don’t know. Being around you just brings up a lot of things and a lot of feelings and I thought that if maybe we talked about it…”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Pacey,” Joey instantly shuts him down. “There is no you and me, there hasn’t been for years. And now there never will be. There _is_ a you and Kristy, however. No use crying over spilled milk. We both moved on.”

Pacey really wasn’t expecting such a harsh reaction to an innocent question. This spiraled way more than he intended so quickly, and he couldn’t quite figure out why. But Joey wasn’t looking him in the eye and she kept tucking her hair behind her ear like she always did when she was nervous, and Pacey instantly knew what was going on. Even after all these years, he still knew Joey better than he knew anyone else. Even his bride to be.

“Jo, I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I didn’t mean to pick at old scabs.”

She sighs. “It’s fine. I didn’t mean to snap like that.” The truth is, she knows exactly what life would be like if they had ended up together. It’d be hard, but it’d be worth it. It’d be _right_. And she’d fought hard for the past five years not to think about it, because if she did, it always made her want to scream. If she let herself think about it, she wouldn’t hesitate in admitting that she wanted him back. And she couldn’t deal with that. Especially not now.

She was too late.

“Look, I should go,” Joey whispers. “I’ll see you at the wedding, yeah?”

Pacey nods silently, letting her grab her stuff.

She’s about to walk out, but Pacey’s hand reaches for her and stops her in her place. She looks down at it, her eyes softening. It reminded her of a moment between them years ago, where she’d reached for his hand by a campfire and finally had it in her to kiss him.

She dares to look up at him. Pacey’s grip on her fingers tighten, and he gently nudges her towards him. Joey closes her eyes, allowing herself to be his for a moment.

Then he places a kiss... on her cheek. She lets out a shaky breath nevertheless, because any touch of his is electrifying. And if this was all she would get, then she’d take it.

“Goodnight, Jo.”

Her words get caught in her throat. She simply nods and feels his fingers slip away, and then she forces herself to walk out the door.

* * *

It’s been two days, and Joey hasn’t slept. When she checks her phone, it says it’s almost one in the morning, and she wants to scream into her pillow. She’s been up all night thinking about how she should probably just book a flight home, avoid any calls, and never think about any of this again. She certainly had experience running away when it came to her feelings for Pacey, so it’s not like it would be anything new. She didn’t know how she would be able to handle watching him get married to someone else after that night in the Ice House. Coming to this had been a bad idea.

She decides to get up and make herself a cup of tea, hoping that it’ll help her fall asleep. She’s about to put the BnB’s kettle on when she hears a soft knock on their door. Joey’s eyebrows narrow, not sure if she should open the door at such a late hour, because who in the world would be wanting to come check in at one in the morning? She hears a knock again, this time a little louder. She reaches for one of their frying pans, hiding it behind her back should she need a weapon, then rushes to the door so this consistent knocking doesn’t wake anyone up.

With a deep breath, Joey finally opens the door, and lets out the biggest sigh of relief when she realizes it’s just Pacey on the other side of the door. “What the hell are you doing here?” she whisper-shouts.

“Hi to you, too, Jo,” Pacey teases. “Were you frying some eggs?” He points to the frying pan she’s holding, no longer hiding it now that there was no real threat of danger.

Joey chuckles. “I was just prepared for the worst.”

“You always are, hey?” Pacey finally catches her eye, and she throws him a smile, almost as if it’s second nature to her, something her body was on autopilot for. Because no one gets a smile out of her like he does.

Joey opens her door a little wider. “I was making some tea. You want a cup? I’m assuming you also can’t sleep, seeing as you’re getting married tomorrow.” She’s trying her best to sound supportive, hoping he won’t see through her act.

He takes her invitation and comes in. “Yeah, I think it’s safe to say that I’m dealing with some wedding jitters,” he jokes as he follows her into the kitchen. “Nice PJ’s by the way,” he adds with a smirk.

Joey looks down, not remembering what she had put on, and then instantly blushes as she notices. “Oh,” she whispers, trying to laugh through the embarrassment. She was wearing the pyjamas she had worn that one night when the two of them had ended up locked inside a K-Mart. Or, as she remembers it, the night that changed everything. “What? I think they’re cute.”

“Hey, I picked them out, so of course I agree,” Pacey answers, laughing softly as he takes a seat at their dinner table. “That was a good night, huh?”

“Yeah, it was.” _A dream come true._ Joey can’t help but smile at the memory. That night, which began so chaotically and awfully, had ended with something she had been thinking about for a year at that point. When Pacey kissed her, it was like no time had passed, and the butterflies all came back at full force. She feared that that chemistry, those deep feelings she felt for him, would never really go away. No matter how much running she did.

Joey starts the kettle, then looks over her shoulder at her guest. “Chamomile or zen?”

“Is that not the same thing?” Pacey questions from his seat.

She can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, pretty much. Chamomile it is, then.”

The two of them stay silent while waiting for the tea to be poured, and it’s thankfully not as awkward as Joey thought it would have been. Every time she looks over, Pacey simply smiles softly at her and she smiles back, then she goes back to busying herself with something stupid like grabbing honey and sugar. She doesn’t know how they always manage to do this --- how they have such meaningful and romantic moments one night, and then act like nothing really happened the other. Maybe it’s just what had to be done for the two of them to be in each other’s lives at all. Things needed to be left unspoken.

Once the water finally boils, Joey pours it into both mugs, and hands one over to Pacey. “Careful, it’s really hot,” she warns.

“Thanks, Jo,” he says, setting the mug down to cool for a while.

She takes a seat beside his chair, and finally asks what she wants to ask. “What’s going on in that head of yours, Pace?”

He sighs, staring down at his hands. “I don’t know,” he whispers truthfully. “I just knew that I needed to go somewhere and before I knew it, I was here, hoping you would open the door.”

Joey refuses to read too into it yet. “Are you…” She tries to be as gentle as possible. “Having doubts?”

Pacey knew that question was coming, and the entire time the kettle was on, he was thinking about his answer. And yet he was still speechless, not sure what to say. Saying no would be a lie, but so would saying yes. “It’s complicated,” he finally decides to say. “I mean, I’ve heard that being terrified before your wedding is totally normal, but…” He trails off.

“What?” Joey encourages.

Pacey readjusts himself in his seat. “I don’t know if you remember this, Jo, but a good couple years ago, you and I sat on the pier and you told me that we were ghosts of our former selves.”

Joey purses her lips. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, you told me something that night that I’ve always thought about since.”

“What’s that?”

“That ghosts don’t leave until they’re at peace with what they’ve left undone.”

Joey nods, remembering the conversation clearly. She takes a tentative sip of her tea, then stares back at Pacey with furrowed brows. “Why’d you bring that up, Pace?”

He doesn’t take his eyes off of her, and Joey is suddenly a little terrified of what his next words might be.

“I didn’t think you were gonna come to my wedding,” Pacey finally says, to her surprise.

Joey lets out the breath she had been holding, then smiles slightly. “Honestly, me neither,” she admits, finally looking back up at him. “Why? Did you not want me to? You _did_ send the invitation,” she teases.

“I think you might be what I’ve left undone, Joey,” Pacey suddenly blurts out, and Joey’s face falls instantly.

“What do you mean?” she asks, whispering. Her eyes instantly leave his, instead wandering to her hands. She thinks she knows where this might be going, and she doesn’t want to hear it.

“I think you are and always will be my biggest unfinished story, Jo. My biggest what if, and every unrequited cliché in the book.” Pacey laughs humorlessly, and it almost makes Joey want to smack his arm and order him to take this seriously. Almost as if he knew that, he sits up a little straighter. “I just think that I’m not gonna be able to go up there and say my vows without making peace with the fact that you and I are not gonna end up together.”

Joey feels her eyes tearing up, and she tries to hide it by taking a sip of her tea and swallowing down her feelings.

“So you’re off the hook.”

She almost chokes on her drink, but catches herself. When she finally catches Pacey’s eyes, he suddenly seems so sad and tired. She wants to reach out and put her hand on his cheek and feel him lean into it like he used to, comforted by her touch instantly. Or lay a kiss on his forehead and feel him breathing her in, like she was his anchor amongst rough waters. Waters like the ones that surrounded them for a whole summer, once. The best summer of her life. The greatest love of her life.

The love she was now officially, finally, clearly losing.

“What?” is all she manages to say, voice breaking.

“You’re off the hook,” Pacey repeats. “Look, I am determined to be happy, Joey. And for the longest time, for pretty much all of my life, really, I thought that I was going to be happy with you.” He pauses, letting out a sad sigh before continuing. “But you and I both know that it hasn’t been easy. Our timing… has just never been right. And time is no man’s friend, so the way I see it, I have to get right with that, and be happy _now_. And I think that Kristy can make me happy.”

“Pace, I…”

“Hold on, I’m not done just yet,” Pacey cuts her off, and Joey sighs as she lets him continue. “Because I also want for _you_ to be happy, Joey. It’s actually really important for me that you be happy.”

Joey can’t take her eyes off of him now. _You make me happy_ , she wants to say, but she knows she’d instantly feel guilty for springing that up on a man that was supposed to get married in less than 24 hours.

“I just… want you to be with someone who fits into the life you’ve always wanted,” Pacey continues. “The life that you deserve. And I think that by now you and I both know that no matter how hard I try, I can’t be that man.”

“Pacey…” Joey tries again with a shake of her head.

“It’s okay, Jo. I don’t need you to try to convince me that it isn’t true when we both have lived through all the evidence. Really, it’s okay.” He pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Look, the point of this long run on sentence that’s been… the last ten years of our lives, is that the simple act of being in love with you was enough for me.”

_Was._

“I got more chances than I deserved, Jo, and if none of them worked, then I think it’s time we acknowledge why. I think I need to make peace with that fact. So you’re off the hook.”

Joey’s mind is racing, going through every possible thing she could say in response. She’s been the subject of many Pacey Witter speeches before, but something about this one truly breaks her heart like she never knew was possible.

Because this was a goodbye.

She doesn’t know if there’s anything she could even say right now that would change anything. Because she had her chances, too, and she was the one who let this go. She was the one who claimed she didn’t feel it, who ran away the second her feelings for him came rushing back because she never knew how to handle such overwhelming love. The sick thing is, she always assumed she’d find her way back to him. Because she always did.

But then Pacey had announced his engagement. She didn’t even hear it from _him_ —- she was told through Bessie, who actually kept in touch with him since he was running the Ice House now. Joey knew he had been dating someone, but she never assumed it would go this far. Ever since they broke up in high school, Pacey had been nothing but strings of one night stands, except for that period of time where he dated her college roommate. And a deep part of Joey’s brain always thought it was because he also knew that it was because _they_ were supposed to end up together.

Joey takes a deep breath. “Look, Pacey… I —-”

She’s cut off by someone’s footsteps approaching, and the two of them turn to see Bessie walk into the kitchen.

“I thought I heard voices,” Joey’s big sister says. “What the hell are you two doing up so late?”

“Hey, Bess,” Pacey says, adjusting himself in his seat. “We were just having some tea.” He finally takes a sip of his drink.

“Pacey, you’re getting married tomorrow! Why are you over here and not resting up before your big day?” she instantly questions, and Joey wants to scream at her sister for interrupting such an important moment.

Pacey simply chuckles, seeming totally normal and acting like he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb ever on Joey just two minutes ago. “Well, Jo was trying to help me out with that. And I think it worked, so I should probably get going.” He gets up from his seat, and Joey wants to reach out and beg him to stay. She has things she wants to say, too, and it’s not fair of him to leave her like this.

Bessie comes over to give Pacey a hug. “Goodnight, Pacey.”

“Night, Bess,” he says with a smile. Then he looks over at Joey, who was wiping a tear that had escaped. He sighs sadly. “Night, Jo.”

She can’t look at him right now. She just nods.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Pacey says, and then just like that, he walks out the door.

Bessie finally turns to her sister, and instantly notices that something’s off. “Hey, what’s going on?” she asks softly, sitting down where Pacey had been a few moments ago.

Joey finally comes undone. Without a word, she rests her head on her sister’s chest, crying.

“Jo, what did Pacey say?” Bessie asks worriedly, hands caressing her little sister’s hair.

“I love him,” is all that Joey manages to whisper, finally admitting out loud what she’s been too scared to say.

Bessie sighs, tightening the hug. “Oh, honey…” She places a soft kiss on the top of Joey’s head. “I’m so sorry.”

“What do I do?” Joey feels like a little kid again, crying to her big sister when the world gets too hard and complicated. She pulls away, and Bessie wipes her tears from her cheek, lips pursed sadly.

With a sigh, Bessie finally shrugs. “He’s getting married, Jo.”

“I know that!” Joey can’t help but roll her eyes. “I can’t lose him, Bess. Not again.” _Not forever._

“I’m not sure there’s much you can do, sweetie.”

Joey lets out a shaky breath. “Speak now or forever hold your peace, right?”

Bessie instantly lifts an eyebrow. “No. No way. I’m not gonna let you interrupt his wedding, Joey.”

“I can talk to him _before_ ,” Joey retorts easily. “It’s not fair, Bess! He just came here in the middle of the night and unloaded this big speech and never let me tell him how _I_ feel. He needs to know. He needs to, before it’s too late.”

Bessie narrows her eyes at her little sister, but then finally sighs defeatedly. She’s seen firsthand how much those two love each other, and she knows Joey better than anyone. She’s never been like this. “Okay,” Bess says with a shrug. “But don’t expect him to just drop everything and run off with you, Jo. It’s not that easy. You guys aren’t those dumb teenagers who ran away for a summer without a second thought anymore.”

 _If only._ Joey thinks back to that day, when she gave up on everything and finally took a chance, when she poured her heart out to Pacey on that dock and sailed off on True Love as the sun set behind them. It had been almost too perfect, but she quickly found out that that was just how it was when she was with Pacey. Things were right.

And she needed to try to make it right again, even if it was one last time.

* * *

The next morning, Joey got dressed for the wedding. She had no idea what the outcome of her new idea would be, so she had to be prepared for the worst. Every motion with her hairbrush, every stroke of makeup, made her heart sink lower and lower into her stomach. She’s never been this terrified before. Maybe it meant that it was the most important thing she’d ever do. That’s what she kept telling herself.

Once at Pacey’s, where the wedding was being held in its backyard, Joey manages to sneak through the house easily thanks to all the wedding commotion. She knocks softly on Pacey’s bedroom door, then opens the door slightly so he can see it’s her and not his bride-to-be. “Hey,” she says with a half smile.

Pacey freezes at the sight of her, instantly stopping his hands from attempting to tie his tie. “Hey, Jo,” he says with furrowed brows. “What're you doing here?”

“I just came to check on you,” Joey answers, which wasn’t a total lie. It just wasn’t the _only_ thing she came to do. She wordlessly asks him if she can come in by opening the door a little wider, and he nods. “How’re you feeling?”

Pacey chuckles softly. “Still a little terrified, but I’m sure it’ll pass once I walk down that aisle.”

She swallows down every plea for him not to walk down it at all. “Do you need help?” Joey asks instead, motioning to his untied tie.

Pacey hesitates for a moment. He’s not sure how he should feel about Joey being here right now, especially after last night’s conversation. He honestly hadn’t planned any of it at all, it just tumbled out of him when given the chance. He’d been holding it in for years now. But since when could he say no to Joey Potter? “Sure.”

Joey steps forward, gently taking the tie into her hands. She feels Pacey’s eyes on her the entire time, and she wants to tug the tie to nudge him towards her lips, but she keeps herself busy by doing what was asked of her instead. She straightens the tie out for him, finally looking up to lock eyes with the man that she, now more than ever, was sure that she loved. The silence between them is agonizing, and the words simply slip out of her mouth without a second thought. “Pacey, I don’t wanna be let off the hook.”

Pacey blinks a few times, thrown off by her words. “What?”

Joey’s hands drop back down to her sides, and she sighs as she continues. “Look, I know this is just another example of how our timing is never right, and I’m an awful person for springing this on you fifteen minutes before you’re supposed to get married, but I need to say this now otherwise I never will.”

“Joey…” Pacey runs his hand through his face anxiously.

“Pace, you had your chance to talk last night,” she reminds him. “I think it’s only fair if I do, too.”

He shifts his footing slightly, fighting the urge to run, because somewhere deep down, he knows she’s about to say something he’s always wanted to hear. And he’s not quite sure he can handle it, not when he’s ready to dedicate his life to someone else. But Joey had a point --- he really had run off last night before she got to respond to his speech. She deserved her chance, too. With a sigh, he stuffs his hands into his pockets. “You’re right.”

Joey takes a deep breath. This was it. “The last thing that I want or need is to be let off somebody’s hook. Especially yours, Pacey.” She locks eyes with him, and instantly tears up. “I love you,” she whispers, and Pacey’s face softens. “You know that. At least I hope you know that, and if you didn’t, then I hope you do now. And it’s a love that’s kept me moving, mostly running, never ready for it. But I have this awful feeling that all this running has done is kept me from the most special, true love I’ve ever known.”

Pacey can’t help but chuckle at her choice of words. “True Love. Good one,” he teases, getting a smile out of Joey.

“It’s your fault for giving our boat the most cliché name possible,” she quips back, amazed that even during a moment where she’s pouring her heart out to him, he manages to make jokes. She refocuses, taking the smallest step to stand closer to him, sighing quietly in relief when he doesn’t wince or step away. “I don’t wanna be let off the hook,” she repeats. “Because that just means I get to keep running. Always to the wrong arms, never crossing the finish line I was meant to. And I’m really sorry that nothing between us has ever been easy, but nothing worth it ever is. And if you meant it when you said that you wanted me to be happy, then… You’re it, Pacey. You are the one that could --- that _does_ \--- make me happy.”

Pacey’s too stunned to speak. He keeps his eyes locked on hers, not being able to look away.

“I know that the reason we’re in this situation right now is because of me,” Joey admits, her voice fragile and full of regret. “If I hadn’t pushed you away that night of the dance, I want to believe… I _have_ to believe that you wouldn’t be getting ready to marry someone right now. Unless that person was me.”

Pacey finally shakes his head. “We don’t know that, Joey.”

“But we do,” she’s quick to defend. “I know I should’ve been braver sooner. I’m sorry I was never ready when you were, Pacey, but I’m ready now. I promise you I am. I love you, and I want to be with you. Last time you told me this could be it, and I was so terrified, but… You were right. This _could_ be it. Us. We could be it.” A single tear rolls down Joey’s face, and she lets it. She doesn’t care. She wants all of it to be on the table. She wants _him_.

Pacey’s eyes are watery, too. His heart feels heavy, while simultaneously being the freest it’s ever felt in years. He’d be lying if he said that Kristy had ever made him feel like this. Joey Potter was the standard for him, he knew this. He subconsciously compared every girl in his life to her, and no one ever stood a chance. And now here she was, the girl of Pacey’s dreams, the one who had a hold on his heart that could never be broken. He thought he’d cut the tie last night, but he should have known better. They were connected, forever, no matter how hard he tried to deny it or fight it or forget it.

He smiles softly, looking at his feet. His wedding shoes. Shoes that were supposed to take him down the aisle. But he was here now, and he couldn’t not say what he wanted to say. What his heart yearned to say. “I love you, Jo,” he whispers, his voice almost breaking from his overwhelming emotions. “I have always, always loved you.”

Joey could sob, but instead she smiles. Her hands instantly reach for Pacey’s, gripping tightly, never wanting to let go again. “Then be with me.”

Pacey stares at their hands for a moment, thumb grazing her skin. When he looks up at her, Joey’s eyes are pleading, honest. It almost breaks his heart. He gently cups her face with one of his hands, thumb wiping away leftover tears on her cheek. Joey leans into his touch instantly, warmed by the familiarity of it.

“I have to show you something,” Pacey finally says, gently taking his hands away. Joey doesn’t move, a little terrified of what he could be talking about.

Pacey goes into his closet, and after a few minutes finally comes out holding an old VHS tape. “I stole this tape almost ten years ago,” he explains, a soft smile on his lips.

“What is it?” Joey asks.

“It’s that day where you, Jen, Dawson, and I were roaming around the beach like idiots while he filmed us.”

Joey instantly giggles at the memory. “Oh my god, I remember that,” she says, grinning. “Why do you have it?”

“Because I was in love with you,” Pacey admits through a chuckle. “I didn’t know it then, but I was. And I wanted to have this as a consolation prize, because I never thought you’d love me back.”

Joey’s heart sinks. “But I did. I do.”

Pacey nods, not being able to look her in the eye. Silence follows for a moment, and Joey doesn’t like where this is heading. She’d had so much hope a minute ago, and now...

Before Pacey can say anything, she speaks up. “Can I have it?”

He finally looks up at her, her voice breaking him out of his thoughts. “Of course. Just don’t tell Dawson I was the one who stole it.” He hands it over, and Joey’s fingers brush his as she takes it. He wishes it didn’t send a shiver down his spine.

“Okay,” Joey promises, voice barely a whisper.

Pacey doesn’t want to say what he has to say. He wishes life was easy for him, just once. That he could kiss the woman he loves, the one standing in front of him right now, take her hand and run off together, never looking back. But he couldn’t. “I can’t do this again, Jo.”

Joey winces once the words reach her ears, tears instantly falling down her face once again. She holds tightly to the tape, clinging to the past where everything was simple and carefree. When they were in love and didn’t even know they were in love. She wants to live in it. It wouldn’t hurt as much as she’s hurting right now.

“Please don’t cry, Potter,” Pacey pleads, fighting every urge not to hug her.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine,” Joey quickly says, turning around slightly so he doesn’t see her wipe her eyes. It was obviously a lie, and she knows he knows that, but there was no more to be said. She’d tried and she failed, and she was gonna have to live with it now. “No, seriously, it’s okay,” she repeats, more for her sake than his. “At least I finally wasn’t scared, you know?”

Pacey smiles sadly. “No need for a mural.”

She wishes his stupid jokes didn’t make her smile. “Exactly.” She takes a deep breath. “I want you to be happy, too, Pace,” she says, voice shaky. “Of course I do. And if you think this is it, then I’m not gonna stop you.” She means it. She hopes he knows she means it.

He does. “I’m sorry,” Pacey whispers, genuine.

“Don’t be,” she waves him off, mostly because she needs to get out of there. She didn’t know how much longer she could handle being in his presence knowing that she’d lost him. “Really. I love you, Pace,” she says for the last time. “You’re… You’re my best friend.” With that, she finally twists the doorknob of his bedroom door. “I’ll see you.”

She doesn’t attend the wedding. She takes the first flight home.

* * *

Joey avoids every call that comes from Bessie, and Jen, and Jack. She doesn’t want to explain to anyone what happened, she just texts them all that she’s fine and then turns her phone off for days. She breaks up with her boyfriend as soon as she’s back in New York, because there’s no use in pretending, and she knows it wouldn’t make her feel any better to be in anyone’s arms unless they were Pacey’s. And that wasn’t gonna happen.

Joey’s dealt with breakups before, but this was such raw heartbreak that she pretty much didn’t move unless she absolutely needed to. Her apartment was becoming messy, but she allowed herself to live in this awful funk, claiming that she needed it in order to move on.

On day eight, Joey is starting to feel the tiniest bit better. She’s watched every comfort movie she has, she’s cried more times than she thought possible, and she’s eaten about three full pints of ice cream. It was brutal, but it was working.

Her doorbell rings around 6pm, and she assumes it’s finally her pizza delivery guy. She stops by her hallway mirror to make sure she’s somewhat presentable, straightening her hair out and putting on a smile.

She was _not_ expecting Pacey to be on the other side of the door.

Joey instantly freezes. Was she dreaming? Was this a joke?

“Hey,” Pacey speaks up. “Jen gave me your address.”

Joey shakes her head, forcing herself to focus. He really _was_ here. _Why_ was he here? “Hi,” she finally says. “What are you doing in New York?”

Pacey straightens his posture, clearly a little nervous. “I came to see you,” he announces.

“Oh.” Joey swallows hard. “Why?”

She didn’t think she would ever see him again, especially not so soon. If he came to try to patch things up and apologize or beg to friends again, he was gonna be disappointed. There was just no way Joey was ready to be around him yet, not after her heart was shattered —-

“Joey, I didn’t get married.”

She instantly looks up at him, eyebrows raised. She searches for any sign that he was lying or playing a horrible joke on her, but finds nothing. _Holy shit._ So maybe there was a real reason her friends and sister kept trying to reach her. “You didn’t?” Joey repeats slowly.

Pacey takes a small step closer to her. “No. I couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?” Her voice is a whisper, and she’s trying to keep her knees from shaking at how close he was standing to her.

Pacey glances down at her lips. “Because she wasn’t you, Jo.”

Joey wants to cry, but she’s done so much of that in the last week that she’s emptied out. So she does what she’s really been wanting to do, what she always wants to be doing. She kisses Pacey Witter.

His hands instantly cup her face, deepening the kiss. She feels him smile against her lips, and she can’t help but smile, too, before she grabs his shirt by its collar and uses it to drag him properly into her apartment, closing the door behind him.

Pacey happily lets her, never letting his lips stray from hers for too long. Once she closes her door, Pacey pins her against it, lips trailing from her mouth to her neck. Joey shivers with every gentle kiss, hands in his hair, urging him on. She’s caught up in the moment and how much she wants this, but something in her tells her to slow down.

“Wait, wait,” she says, softly pushing him away so she can see him properly. “What happened? Why did you change your mind?”

Pacey sighs, taking a moment to get himself together to properly answer her question. “I couldn’t walk down the aisle. I talked to Kristy and came clean about everything and… Well, I ended up having a drink thrown in my face, but that’s pretty tame and deserved,” he chuckles. “I had to deal with the repercussions but I came as soon as I could, Jo.”

His hands find hers, and he places them on his cheeks, eyes closing at her touch. “I’ve always wanted you,” he admits, whispering. “You know that. And I couldn’t not have you, not when I finally got the chance. And not when you poured your heart out to me the way you did.”

“You were just blown away by the fact that I finally made a big love declaration, weren’t you?” she teases.

“Yeah, that’s _my_ thing,” Pacey jokes along, grinning. “So you had to be serious. And I just couldn’t believe I let you walk away after that. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I knew that I was gonna regret it for the rest of my life. And I couldn’t do that to myself, or to Kristy. It wasn’t fair.”

Joey nods, her fingers caressing his cheek. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

Pacey couldn’t see a world where he didn’t. “You’re the love of my life, Joey Potter. You’re it.”

Joey is grinning so wide her cheeks hurt. She leans forward slightly, leaning her forehead against his. “And you’re mine, Pace.” She places a soft kiss on his nose. “I love you.”

Pacey nods, taking his hands and squeezing her face in adoration. “I love you.” He brings her lips to his again. “Any more questions or can I finally kiss you until my lips go numb?”

Joey giggles. “Please do,” she pleads, and he happily obliges. “Wait, I do have a question!” she says after a few pecks.

Pacey rolls his eyes, moving on to kissing her neck while her lips are busy. “Mhm?”

She grabs his face, forcing him to look at her. “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” she asks teasingly.

Pacey can’t help but chuckle. “If you’d let me,” he replies, whispering. She nods, and he kisses her all the way into her bedroom.

* * *

And this time, it sticks. At least until he finally does manage to walk down the aisle.

To her.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading !!!!! let me know how you liked it :)


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